Do you make them? It seems that most people do. I think I will skip it this year, as I've never actually kept one. Don't get me wrong, I like the concept of setting goals. However, goals need not be set only once a year. This year I will just keep on trucking as if it is any other day, BUT will continue to try to meet the goals that are already in place.
What are these goals?
1. Make more money. Doesn't everyone have this goal? Even millionaires have this goal, so it is certainly nothing special or unique. I'd like to say I will work harder, but I already bust my hump. Maybe I will alter this goal so that it is more geared towards working smarter instead.
2. Be a better parent. Again, I think many people have this goal, and it is a tough one. Just when you think you are doing the right things, you find out you are not. It's a never ending learning process, and thus might be something that is never truly 100% accomplished.
3. Worry less. Some people are natural born worriers. I am extremely detail oriented, which lends to worrying about even the smallest thing. "Don't sweat the small stuff?" easier said than done. I suppose the key to accomplishing this would be being able to determine what is small stuff exactly.
Who knows what else I'll add during the year. Being healthier and maintaining good relationships will certainly be in the mix. Those things are always there. Should you choose to make resolutions of your own, best of luck to you. They must serve some purpose, or the tradition of doing so would not be so popular.
Bring on the New Year's Day weight loss plan commercials!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Where To Find the Best Deals on Pool Supplies
Keeping your pool looking great is really not all that difficult. So long as you have the proper pool supplies on hand, you will never have to worry about whether or not your pool is safe to swim in. Today, the best place to purchase items for your pool is online. Why? Two reasons - variety and price. Virtually anything you could ever need for your pool can be found online. Savings come in the form of being able to purchase from virtual stores that may not have the significant overhead costs that many brick and mortar stores have.
All of your chemicals and pool accessories can be purchased online if you wish. To ensure you are getting the best deal, consider making a list of what you need prior to shopping. This will allow you pay minimal shipping costs. Even better, some online pool stores offer free shipping deals that you can take advantage of. When free, or low cost shipping is combined with already low prices, it becomes hard to imagine why anyone would shop for their pool supplies anywhere other than online.
All of your chemicals and pool accessories can be purchased online if you wish. To ensure you are getting the best deal, consider making a list of what you need prior to shopping. This will allow you pay minimal shipping costs. Even better, some online pool stores offer free shipping deals that you can take advantage of. When free, or low cost shipping is combined with already low prices, it becomes hard to imagine why anyone would shop for their pool supplies anywhere other than online.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas and the Mistletoe Tradition
Have you ever wondered where some of our modern traditions came from? As the Christmas season approaches, I have been doing some research regarding certain holiday-related topics. My findings may surprise even the biggest scrooge!
Mistletoe has been revered by certain cultures for many, many years. The ancient Celts of Britain felt that Mistletoe held sacred powers of healing, and that it contained the soul of the tree from which it was cut. In the Celtic language, Mistletoe means "All Heal".
The Druids also had an interesting ceremony that included Mistletoe. The pagan priests of the time would carefully cut boughs of Mistletoe from the sacred Oak tree with a golden sickle. They were ever careful not to let the boughs touch the ground, for fear of contaminating them. The priests then divided these boughs into sprigs, and gave them to the people to protect them from storms and other forms of evil.
Mistletoe has also been included in many famous myths from earlier times. The Norse myth that comes to mind is that of the resurrection of Balder, the god of the summer sun. The myth states that Balder had a dream in which he dies. His mother Frigga, the goddess of beauty and love, was rather alarmed by this. Frigga went to all of the elements (air, fire, water, and earth) and asked that they spare her son. When she was satisfied that she had secured their cooperation in this matter, she informed Balder that he would live forever.
Balder had one enemy, though. Loki, the god of evil, discovered one plant that Frigga had overlooked. That plant was Mistletoe. Loki fashioned an arrow made from the branch of the Mistletoe, and dipped it in poison. He then tricked Balder’s blind brother, Hoder, into firing it and killing Balder. Each of the elements tried to bring Balder back to life, but none were successful save for his mother, Frigga. It is said that her tears turned into the berries from the Mistletoe, and when they rained upon Balder they brought him back to life.
In her joy at Balder’s resurrection, she reversed the poisonous reputation of the Mistletoe and kissed everyone who walked beneath the tree on which it grew. She also issued a decree that anyone passing under the Mistletoe must kiss, and therefore no harm would come to them.
Mistletoe has been revered by certain cultures for many, many years. The ancient Celts of Britain felt that Mistletoe held sacred powers of healing, and that it contained the soul of the tree from which it was cut. In the Celtic language, Mistletoe means "All Heal".
The Druids also had an interesting ceremony that included Mistletoe. The pagan priests of the time would carefully cut boughs of Mistletoe from the sacred Oak tree with a golden sickle. They were ever careful not to let the boughs touch the ground, for fear of contaminating them. The priests then divided these boughs into sprigs, and gave them to the people to protect them from storms and other forms of evil.
Mistletoe has also been included in many famous myths from earlier times. The Norse myth that comes to mind is that of the resurrection of Balder, the god of the summer sun. The myth states that Balder had a dream in which he dies. His mother Frigga, the goddess of beauty and love, was rather alarmed by this. Frigga went to all of the elements (air, fire, water, and earth) and asked that they spare her son. When she was satisfied that she had secured their cooperation in this matter, she informed Balder that he would live forever.
Balder had one enemy, though. Loki, the god of evil, discovered one plant that Frigga had overlooked. That plant was Mistletoe. Loki fashioned an arrow made from the branch of the Mistletoe, and dipped it in poison. He then tricked Balder’s blind brother, Hoder, into firing it and killing Balder. Each of the elements tried to bring Balder back to life, but none were successful save for his mother, Frigga. It is said that her tears turned into the berries from the Mistletoe, and when they rained upon Balder they brought him back to life.
In her joy at Balder’s resurrection, she reversed the poisonous reputation of the Mistletoe and kissed everyone who walked beneath the tree on which it grew. She also issued a decree that anyone passing under the Mistletoe must kiss, and therefore no harm would come to them.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
A Christmas History Lesson
The Twelve Days of Christmas is one of the most famous Christmas carols ever written. It has been sung for a great many years, and is known the world over. To most it is a delightful hymn, but it was originally created with a very serious intent. In England between the years of 1558 and 1829, it was illegal to practice Catholicism in public or private. It was essentially a crime to be Catholic in England during those years.
The Twelve Days of Christmas was written to help preserve the traditions of the Catholic faith during the years that Catholicism was banned in England. The song is steeped in symbolism, and the fact that it is so well known throughout the world is a testament to the faith of the followers of the Catholic doctrine. The symbols contained in the song are as follows:
1st verse – "True Love" refers to God.
2nd verse – "2 Turtle Doves" refers to the Old and New Testaments.
3rd verse – "3 French Hens" refers to Faith, Hope, and Charity.
4th verse – "4 Calling Birds" refers to the Four Gospels or the Four Evangelists.
5th verse – "5 Golden Rings" refers to the first five Books of the Old Testament.
6th verse – "6 Geese-a-laying" refers to the six days of creation.
7th verse – "7 Swans-a-swimming" refers to the seven sacraments.
8th verse – "8 Maids-a-milking" refers to the eight beatitudes.
9th verse – "9 Ladies dancing" refers to the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.
10th verse – "10 Lords-a-leaping" refers to the Ten Commandments.
11th verse – "11 Pipers piping" refers to the eleven faithful apostles.
12th verse – "12 Drummers drumming" refers to the twelve points of the Apostle’s creed.
I love this song. It is, by far, my favorite Christmas carol. I had no idea about the symbols contained in the song, until I googled the song lyrics one afternoon. I find it very interesting that a song we all know so well could contain so many hidden meanings. I would never have guessed that it was anything more than lovely Christmas carol.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
The Twelve Days of Christmas was written to help preserve the traditions of the Catholic faith during the years that Catholicism was banned in England. The song is steeped in symbolism, and the fact that it is so well known throughout the world is a testament to the faith of the followers of the Catholic doctrine. The symbols contained in the song are as follows:
1st verse – "True Love" refers to God.
2nd verse – "2 Turtle Doves" refers to the Old and New Testaments.
3rd verse – "3 French Hens" refers to Faith, Hope, and Charity.
4th verse – "4 Calling Birds" refers to the Four Gospels or the Four Evangelists.
5th verse – "5 Golden Rings" refers to the first five Books of the Old Testament.
6th verse – "6 Geese-a-laying" refers to the six days of creation.
7th verse – "7 Swans-a-swimming" refers to the seven sacraments.
8th verse – "8 Maids-a-milking" refers to the eight beatitudes.
9th verse – "9 Ladies dancing" refers to the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.
10th verse – "10 Lords-a-leaping" refers to the Ten Commandments.
11th verse – "11 Pipers piping" refers to the eleven faithful apostles.
12th verse – "12 Drummers drumming" refers to the twelve points of the Apostle’s creed.
I love this song. It is, by far, my favorite Christmas carol. I had no idea about the symbols contained in the song, until I googled the song lyrics one afternoon. I find it very interesting that a song we all know so well could contain so many hidden meanings. I would never have guessed that it was anything more than lovely Christmas carol.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Southern Dishes that Transplants Must Try
I cannot remember if I posted this one here, but even if I did, it should be repeated! (Note: Pimento Cheese should be on this list!)
Southern dishes are among some of the tastiest treats on earth. If you are new to the South, Southern food may shock you at first. However, once you get used to it, you will quickly see why the Southern states have such a high obesity rate. The food here is rich, sweet, heavy, and honestly, quite tasty. The following foods should be tried at least once by new residents.
Grits: The king of Southern dishes, you may want to consider these the white version of polenta. Best served with salt, pepper, and butter. Adding cheese and crumbled bacon will take them to a whole new level. You may find that you do not love them as much as we do, but you should try them at least once.
Fried Green Tomatoes: While this Southern food is not hard to make a home, they always seen to taste better when purchased at a restaurant. While this is one of the Southern dishes that can be purchased in upscale restaurants, they are best when purchased at small town diner.
Barbecue: Each region does BBQ differently, which means that even if you had it in Memphis, it will not be the same as it is in Birmingham. Barbecue is one of the most consistent of Southern dishes, in that it never lets you down now matter which dry rub, sauce, or cooking method is used.
Sweet Tea: Yes, I realize this is a drink and not actually a food, but it deserves to be on the list due to the fact that it is a must try treat. If you are not used to a lot of sugar, watch out. Sweet tea in the South comes loaded with it. Keep in mind when ordering iced tea in a Southern restaurant that your waiter or waitress will automatically assume that you want the sweet variety. If you want unsweet, you will need to order it as such.
Biscuits and Milk Gravy: Many Southern dishes come with an option of some type of bread on the side. This is generally either biscuits or cornbread. While both are excellent choices, if you have never had biscuits with milk gravy, you will want to order it. Milk gravy is a white gravy that is made from oil, flour, and milk. It is seasoned with salt and lots of pepper. The humble combination of a biscuit with milk gravy is my favorite Southern food of all time.
Other Southern treats to consider include an RC Cola (complete with a Moonpie), chili, and fried pickles. There will likely be other Southern dishes that you encounter upon moving to the South that you will find that you never knew you loved. Southern food is the epitome of comfort food, and it is hard to imagine that any other type of food could be much better.
Southern dishes are among some of the tastiest treats on earth. If you are new to the South, Southern food may shock you at first. However, once you get used to it, you will quickly see why the Southern states have such a high obesity rate. The food here is rich, sweet, heavy, and honestly, quite tasty. The following foods should be tried at least once by new residents.
Grits: The king of Southern dishes, you may want to consider these the white version of polenta. Best served with salt, pepper, and butter. Adding cheese and crumbled bacon will take them to a whole new level. You may find that you do not love them as much as we do, but you should try them at least once.
Fried Green Tomatoes: While this Southern food is not hard to make a home, they always seen to taste better when purchased at a restaurant. While this is one of the Southern dishes that can be purchased in upscale restaurants, they are best when purchased at small town diner.
Barbecue: Each region does BBQ differently, which means that even if you had it in Memphis, it will not be the same as it is in Birmingham. Barbecue is one of the most consistent of Southern dishes, in that it never lets you down now matter which dry rub, sauce, or cooking method is used.
Sweet Tea: Yes, I realize this is a drink and not actually a food, but it deserves to be on the list due to the fact that it is a must try treat. If you are not used to a lot of sugar, watch out. Sweet tea in the South comes loaded with it. Keep in mind when ordering iced tea in a Southern restaurant that your waiter or waitress will automatically assume that you want the sweet variety. If you want unsweet, you will need to order it as such.
Biscuits and Milk Gravy: Many Southern dishes come with an option of some type of bread on the side. This is generally either biscuits or cornbread. While both are excellent choices, if you have never had biscuits with milk gravy, you will want to order it. Milk gravy is a white gravy that is made from oil, flour, and milk. It is seasoned with salt and lots of pepper. The humble combination of a biscuit with milk gravy is my favorite Southern food of all time.
Other Southern treats to consider include an RC Cola (complete with a Moonpie), chili, and fried pickles. There will likely be other Southern dishes that you encounter upon moving to the South that you will find that you never knew you loved. Southern food is the epitome of comfort food, and it is hard to imagine that any other type of food could be much better.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Christmas Shopping During Big Sales
Several times a year retailers offer big sales on many of their items. Some of these times include President’s Day, Easter, the Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and of course Christmas. Retailers hold sale events during these times of year to encourage shoppers to get out and make some big purchases. The last minute Christmas shopping frenzy which takes place each year can be largely attributed to the sale events at Christmas time. Many shoppers specifically wait until the last minute to do their Christmas shopping because they know many items will go on sale at this time. While this is an excellent way to save money, savvy Christmas shoppers know that doing a little bit of their Christmas shopping at these other sales during the year can help to ease the stress and financial burdens often associated with last minute Christmas shopping.
Christmas shopping during big sales is definitely a good idea but it is important to remember that there are some ways to really take advantage of a big sale and some ways to have your Christmas shopping deterred by a big sale. This article will discuss a few basic strategies for doing your Christmas shopping during big sales without falling into some of the common pitfalls often associated with shopping during sales.
One of the biggest pitfalls associated with doing your Christmas shopping during big sales events is to end up purchasing many items you don’t need and would not have purchased if they weren’t on sale. This can be a problem especially if it causes you to exceed the budget you have set for Christmas shopping. This often happens when shoppers encounter a sale they think is simply too good to pass up. For some shoppers a discount of more than 50% seems very appealing and they may be tempted to buy these items just because the price has been reduced by so much but they might not really need the item. In this case the shopper may be saving 50% off of the original price because of the discount but if they wouldn’t have purchased the item if it wasn’t on sale they are really spending more than they would normally spend and are essentially losing money. To avoid this pitfall, it is wise to make a list of each person on your list and what you intend to purchase for them so you will not be tempted by big bargains.
Another problem associated with Christmas shopping during big sales is that hesitancy often causes the shopper to miss out on an item. When you are Christmas shopping during a big sale it is important to be slightly impulsive. If you see an item you think you would like to purchase for someone on your Christmas list, you have to either buy it right away or run the risk that it will be gone if you come back later to look for the item. Retailers often put items on sale when they only have a limited quantity of the item in stock and therefore once they sell out the item is gone. So it is important to remember that when you are Christmas shopping during a big sale, you have to make decisions quickly. You need to either decide to purchase an item or completely forget about the item because it will likely be sold soon after you leave the store.
Christmas shopping during big sales is definitely a good idea but it is important to remember that there are some ways to really take advantage of a big sale and some ways to have your Christmas shopping deterred by a big sale. This article will discuss a few basic strategies for doing your Christmas shopping during big sales without falling into some of the common pitfalls often associated with shopping during sales.
One of the biggest pitfalls associated with doing your Christmas shopping during big sales events is to end up purchasing many items you don’t need and would not have purchased if they weren’t on sale. This can be a problem especially if it causes you to exceed the budget you have set for Christmas shopping. This often happens when shoppers encounter a sale they think is simply too good to pass up. For some shoppers a discount of more than 50% seems very appealing and they may be tempted to buy these items just because the price has been reduced by so much but they might not really need the item. In this case the shopper may be saving 50% off of the original price because of the discount but if they wouldn’t have purchased the item if it wasn’t on sale they are really spending more than they would normally spend and are essentially losing money. To avoid this pitfall, it is wise to make a list of each person on your list and what you intend to purchase for them so you will not be tempted by big bargains.
Another problem associated with Christmas shopping during big sales is that hesitancy often causes the shopper to miss out on an item. When you are Christmas shopping during a big sale it is important to be slightly impulsive. If you see an item you think you would like to purchase for someone on your Christmas list, you have to either buy it right away or run the risk that it will be gone if you come back later to look for the item. Retailers often put items on sale when they only have a limited quantity of the item in stock and therefore once they sell out the item is gone. So it is important to remember that when you are Christmas shopping during a big sale, you have to make decisions quickly. You need to either decide to purchase an item or completely forget about the item because it will likely be sold soon after you leave the store.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Lemon Laws: Protecting Yourself From Financial Loss
Purchasing a car can be quite exciting. Many people now choose to purchase used cars, simply because they are more affordable. What should be a joyful event can quickly be transformed into stress should you find out that the car you purchased is not functioning properly. Fortunately, Lemon Laws are in place to protect those who purchase cars that are not mechanically sound.
Lemon laws can vary from state to state, but each offers protection for a specific period of time. Should you need to place your car in the shop for repairs multiple times, or should the car stop running, you may be entitled to a full refund. You may also be able to receive an entirely different car. Action will be required to make this happen, but help is available should you need to protect yourself.
It is possible to have your case handled by experienced attorneys for free. With no associated cost to you, there is simply no reason to accept that you are stuck with your lemon car purchase. The most important thing is that you do take action as soon as you realize that your new car is not mechanically sound. Take the time to learn more about lemon laws in your state prior to making your next car purchase.
Lemon laws can vary from state to state, but each offers protection for a specific period of time. Should you need to place your car in the shop for repairs multiple times, or should the car stop running, you may be entitled to a full refund. You may also be able to receive an entirely different car. Action will be required to make this happen, but help is available should you need to protect yourself.
It is possible to have your case handled by experienced attorneys for free. With no associated cost to you, there is simply no reason to accept that you are stuck with your lemon car purchase. The most important thing is that you do take action as soon as you realize that your new car is not mechanically sound. Take the time to learn more about lemon laws in your state prior to making your next car purchase.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
When Did Medical Nursing Scrubs Become So Cute?
I clearly remember a time when medical nursing scrubs were as plain as they come. I assume that during that time they were only practical uniforms, and were mainly white to keep with the look of a sterile environment. Surely the doctors and nurses became bored with the same old scrubs, and somewhere along the line, someone made this known.
Today, they come in many colors. Not only are these more fun for those who wear them, but this development is also better for the patients. What these uniforms no represent is a feeling of comfort to patients. Sterile can be scary, colors and patterns are not. For patients, feeling more at ease while in the hospital is of great importance.
As with many things, we learn more about what does and does not work over time. Medical nursing scrubs are a great example of this. Colors being worn in a medical setting are a natural fit. It will certainly be interesting to see how clothing continues to be used to allow doctors and nurses to look great while providing another layer of comfort to those who they care for.
Today, they come in many colors. Not only are these more fun for those who wear them, but this development is also better for the patients. What these uniforms no represent is a feeling of comfort to patients. Sterile can be scary, colors and patterns are not. For patients, feeling more at ease while in the hospital is of great importance.
As with many things, we learn more about what does and does not work over time. Medical nursing scrubs are a great example of this. Colors being worn in a medical setting are a natural fit. It will certainly be interesting to see how clothing continues to be used to allow doctors and nurses to look great while providing another layer of comfort to those who they care for.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
ESPN
ESPN
Thanks to Olga Quinn
I am amazed at the number of channels that ESPN has. Several direct tv packages include multiple sports channels. There are four different ESPN channels that I have access to through Direct TV. I love sports, and I can always find something that I am interested in on one of the ESPN channels. It is amazing how much access the ESPN crews have throughout the major sports leagues, and there is literally no stone left unturned when it comes to professional sports in America. I know there are some people who think that it is too much, but I am glad that we have access to this much coverage. From inside the huddle to inside the locker room, today’s sports fan can see it all. I think about how media coverage has changed so much here in America. Celebrities of all types are able to get away with much less because there is always a camera around. I love having the opportunity to see some of the NFL’s best coaches talk about game plans and strategies. For a sports fan like me, it could not be better.
Thanks to Olga Quinn
I am amazed at the number of channels that ESPN has. Several direct tv packages include multiple sports channels. There are four different ESPN channels that I have access to through Direct TV. I love sports, and I can always find something that I am interested in on one of the ESPN channels. It is amazing how much access the ESPN crews have throughout the major sports leagues, and there is literally no stone left unturned when it comes to professional sports in America. I know there are some people who think that it is too much, but I am glad that we have access to this much coverage. From inside the huddle to inside the locker room, today’s sports fan can see it all. I think about how media coverage has changed so much here in America. Celebrities of all types are able to get away with much less because there is always a camera around. I love having the opportunity to see some of the NFL’s best coaches talk about game plans and strategies. For a sports fan like me, it could not be better.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
The Beauty of the Major Award
After the stress of this football season, I think all Alabama fans deserve cheap acrylic awards. A nice trophy to place on our mantel certainly would be a nice perk. Obviously, the season is not over. It looks as though we will be playing LSU again, but this time for all the marbles. If we win that game, I will most certainly be picking up acrylic awards cheap for all my family.
In the meantime, I will be picking up a barcelona chair cheap and resting up until the next game. If the BCS holds true, that should be January 9th. I've had my eye on a black leather beauty, and it will be mine. Armed with my chair and my major award, the stress of this season will certainly seem well worth it.
In the meantime, I will be picking up a barcelona chair cheap and resting up until the next game. If the BCS holds true, that should be January 9th. I've had my eye on a black leather beauty, and it will be mine. Armed with my chair and my major award, the stress of this season will certainly seem well worth it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011 - The Year of the Cornbread
I've probably made cornbread at least 100 times in my life. Never once did it seem difficult. When Mrs. Leslie volunteered to make the cornbread that my sister needed to complete the dressing for Thanksgiving, I was more than willing to let her have the job. Mrs. Leslie, not being Southern, has little cornbread experience.
The first batch turned out fine, but there was a problem with the fact that it was made using white corn meal. In the South, yellow corn meal is often preferred. Add to this the fact that there was not enough of the white to make the two large pans that were needed, and off to the store we went.
The second two pans, which were made using the yellow corn meal, looked fine on the top, but after cutting into them, it was apparent that something was wrong. A doughy center, which was white instead of yellow, was all I needed to see to determine that she had now produced three huge pans of unusable cornbread.
To her defense, she used the recipe from the Irondale Cafe website (the cafe that Fried Green Tomatoes was centered around). What she did not realize was that the temperature they listed was for a convection oven. Seriously, who has a convection oven in their home?!?
At this point she had gone through massive amounts of ingredients, so I decided I would just make it myself. Mine turned out good enough, though a little on the dry side. Even I was not immune to the cornbread curse though, as I tried to transfer the bread to a cutting board on the stove, dropped it, and had it burst into a thousand pieces and crumbs (half of which fell into the stove eyes).
What should have cost around $3, and taken about 30 minutes, ended up costing around $10, and taking HOURS. Next year, we will not be doing battle with the cornbread gods. I will gladly allow Publix, or any other grocery store, to take over this task.
What did we ever do to you, cornbread? Riddle me that, would ya?
The first batch turned out fine, but there was a problem with the fact that it was made using white corn meal. In the South, yellow corn meal is often preferred. Add to this the fact that there was not enough of the white to make the two large pans that were needed, and off to the store we went.
The second two pans, which were made using the yellow corn meal, looked fine on the top, but after cutting into them, it was apparent that something was wrong. A doughy center, which was white instead of yellow, was all I needed to see to determine that she had now produced three huge pans of unusable cornbread.
To her defense, she used the recipe from the Irondale Cafe website (the cafe that Fried Green Tomatoes was centered around). What she did not realize was that the temperature they listed was for a convection oven. Seriously, who has a convection oven in their home?!?
At this point she had gone through massive amounts of ingredients, so I decided I would just make it myself. Mine turned out good enough, though a little on the dry side. Even I was not immune to the cornbread curse though, as I tried to transfer the bread to a cutting board on the stove, dropped it, and had it burst into a thousand pieces and crumbs (half of which fell into the stove eyes).
What should have cost around $3, and taken about 30 minutes, ended up costing around $10, and taking HOURS. Next year, we will not be doing battle with the cornbread gods. I will gladly allow Publix, or any other grocery store, to take over this task.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
The Case for Early Christmas
Let's discuss this "early Christmas" thing. According to some of my Facebook friends, there is a very good case for early shopping and early decorating. The others argue that it takes away from the joy of Thanksgiving. I got on board with early Christmas a long time ago. Why? Because I feel that the entire Christmas season passes entirely too fast for my liking.
I really cannot even imagine how those people in the "old days" put up their tree on Christmas Eve and were content with that. Christmas Eve is supposed to be relaxing, and not work. Honestly, putting up a Christmas tree is work. Especially when kids are "helping." I bet those families were in bed by 8pm. Seriously.
What does it say about me if I have one, or in my case, two trees up when my family gathers around my Thanksgiving table? In my mind, it only says that I enjoy Christmas, and the lights only add to the festivities. It certainly causes no harm, and we still give thanks for all that we have. No one says, "Hey, can I open a present?" And if they did, I would say, "This meal is your present, fool!"
I will not even go into the need for early shopping. Unless you enjoy stress, early shopping is a must. I have almost everything ordered now, with almost a week to go until Thanksgiving. Yep, that's how I roll, and I like it. You early Christmas haters can hate. I will keep Christmas in my way, and you can keep it in yours.
Turkey and Tree...In perfect harmony!
I really cannot even imagine how those people in the "old days" put up their tree on Christmas Eve and were content with that. Christmas Eve is supposed to be relaxing, and not work. Honestly, putting up a Christmas tree is work. Especially when kids are "helping." I bet those families were in bed by 8pm. Seriously.
What does it say about me if I have one, or in my case, two trees up when my family gathers around my Thanksgiving table? In my mind, it only says that I enjoy Christmas, and the lights only add to the festivities. It certainly causes no harm, and we still give thanks for all that we have. No one says, "Hey, can I open a present?" And if they did, I would say, "This meal is your present, fool!"
I will not even go into the need for early shopping. Unless you enjoy stress, early shopping is a must. I have almost everything ordered now, with almost a week to go until Thanksgiving. Yep, that's how I roll, and I like it. You early Christmas haters can hate. I will keep Christmas in my way, and you can keep it in yours.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Is There Anything Worse Than A Bad Christmas Movie?
Maybe. A bad Halloween movie also sucks.
Anyway, the Hallmark Channel has started showing Christmas movies, and since I am a fan of what is now being referred to as "early Christmas" I have tuned in. I did not make it through "Lucky Christmas", which stars Elizabeth Berkley. If you ever watched "Saved By the Bell" then you know who she is. She played Jesse Spano.
She went on to star in the movie "Showgirls" which featured her getting busy with multiple people. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I was pretty grossed out to see little Jesse doing it with everyone. Apparently I was not the only person that felt this way, as her career tanked right after that.
I guess Hallmark thought that enough time has passed, and decided to give her a chance at redemption. Brave move, bad movie. Will I continue to watch these hokey movies? Sure, if nothing better is on. But I don't think I will try to catch "Lucky Christmas" during one of its million re-airings. The Christmas spirit only goes so far.
"Yes, I have huge eyes. No, it's not the drugs!"
Anyway, the Hallmark Channel has started showing Christmas movies, and since I am a fan of what is now being referred to as "early Christmas" I have tuned in. I did not make it through "Lucky Christmas", which stars Elizabeth Berkley. If you ever watched "Saved By the Bell" then you know who she is. She played Jesse Spano.
She went on to star in the movie "Showgirls" which featured her getting busy with multiple people. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I was pretty grossed out to see little Jesse doing it with everyone. Apparently I was not the only person that felt this way, as her career tanked right after that.
I guess Hallmark thought that enough time has passed, and decided to give her a chance at redemption. Brave move, bad movie. Will I continue to watch these hokey movies? Sure, if nothing better is on. But I don't think I will try to catch "Lucky Christmas" during one of its million re-airings. The Christmas spirit only goes so far.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Oh, the Agony
Yes, my beloved team lost by three measly points Saturday night. I have since processed it and recovered. As I've aged, I've learned to be more mature in my approach. I did not scream at Mrs. Leslie, (but did demand sympathy) and did not break anything. In the past, any inanimate object was fair game, but no longer. The fact that I was with all of my favorite peeps certainly helped. After all, football in the South is about getting together and having fun.
I turned one year older today, and we are keeping it low key around here. I'm working for now, but plan to kick back later on when my family comes over for cake. I have been promised the king of all back rubs later (no, not by my family, you pervs). We'll see if the dog allows it, as no one is allowed to pay attention to anyone but him. Lucky for him, he's cute.
I turned one year older today, and we are keeping it low key around here. I'm working for now, but plan to kick back later on when my family comes over for cake. I have been promised the king of all back rubs later (no, not by my family, you pervs). We'll see if the dog allows it, as no one is allowed to pay attention to anyone but him. Lucky for him, he's cute.
Friday, November 4, 2011
I'm So Excited
I got so engrossed with the Alabama vs. LSU game hype this week that I forgot to post. I also almost forgot to go to the bathroom a few times, which would not have been good. I've learned so much this week. I've learned that LSU fans supposedly smell like corn dogs. I've also learned that they have a player that is called the "Honey Badger." Apparently, this nickname was derived from some internet joke that says, "Honey badger don't give a ****."
We'll know tomorrow if the Honey Badger should have given a **** or not. Kick off is at 7pm Central on CBS. I hope I am in a good enough state to enjoy the game, as we will be at the home of my favorite drinking buddy hours before game time. He mentioned something about having to do shots after Alabama touchdowns, so I suppose if it is a high scoring game, I'm toast. Fortunately, I have my always sober sister to drive me around.
We'll know tomorrow if the Honey Badger should have given a **** or not. Kick off is at 7pm Central on CBS. I hope I am in a good enough state to enjoy the game, as we will be at the home of my favorite drinking buddy hours before game time. He mentioned something about having to do shots after Alabama touchdowns, so I suppose if it is a high scoring game, I'm toast. Fortunately, I have my always sober sister to drive me around.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Wild Creatures and the Pimento Cheeseburger
I went to the Birmingham Zoo for the first time in a million years yesterday. I'm always on the fence about the zoo. I always feel that the animals would be happier in their natural environment, but also feel that if they are going to be kept in captivity anyway, people should support the zoo financially.
Aside from the ethics of the whole thing, we had a really good time. I was particularly impressed by the gorilla, who I swear seemed almost human. No, I'm not going to discuss the Theory of Evolution now. It's just that you can look into their eyes and see the wheels turning. It's really quite amazing.
After the zoo, we went to Jim 'n Nicks. I had been there several times, but had never ordered the Pimento Cheeseburger. Let me just say that if you are a pimento cheese fan, this burger will rock your socks off. Pimento cheese on a burger is a perfect combination. Why did I never think of this?
Aside from the ethics of the whole thing, we had a really good time. I was particularly impressed by the gorilla, who I swear seemed almost human. No, I'm not going to discuss the Theory of Evolution now. It's just that you can look into their eyes and see the wheels turning. It's really quite amazing.
After the zoo, we went to Jim 'n Nicks. I had been there several times, but had never ordered the Pimento Cheeseburger. Let me just say that if you are a pimento cheese fan, this burger will rock your socks off. Pimento cheese on a burger is a perfect combination. Why did I never think of this?
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Rude Awakening
Is there anything worse than be jolted out of a deep sleep by two cats acting as if they are going toe to toe in MMA battle? Of course there is, but this is still an unpleasant situation. Pets are like people. They don't always like each other. Imagine being forced to live in a house with people that you truly cannot stand. I do believe that in some cases, pets get the short end of the stick.
Though I work seven days a week, I do allow myself to sleep later on Saturday so that I will have plenty of energy to make it through one or more exciting football games. Today there are two one the slate, and I must be prepared for an emotional roller coaster that will last from 2:30pm until 10pm. My 6am wake up call certainly will not help. Add in beer and football food? I'm a goner.
Though I work seven days a week, I do allow myself to sleep later on Saturday so that I will have plenty of energy to make it through one or more exciting football games. Today there are two one the slate, and I must be prepared for an emotional roller coaster that will last from 2:30pm until 10pm. My 6am wake up call certainly will not help. Add in beer and football food? I'm a goner.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Wild and Wacky Weather
The temperature gauge in my car read 87 degrees when I went to the store a few minutes ago. The temperature tomorrow is supposed to be in the mid-80's as well. Wednesday? 50's. Many times over the years I have had my A/C on during the day, only to turn the heat on at night. Alabama weather is not for the faint of heart, my friends. If the tornadoes and humidity don't do you in, the case of pneumonia that you catch from crazy temperature changes just might.
Nothing extremely exciting to report, other than Alabama beating Ole Miss into the ground. I had a feeling that it was going to get ugly after the Ole Miss quarterback made the mistake of talking smack about us during the week. Bad move, small fry. You made us have to smack you around. Tennessee is up next. The "3rd Saturday in October" is always a big deal, even when Tennessee has a less than stellar team.
In other news...
*The dog is addicted to acorns.
*I'm addicted to jalapeno poppers.
*Mrs. Leslie is addicted to reading articles about pet food.
*The girl child is addicted to anime and spaghetti-o's.
Clearly, we all have our demons to face down. However, I do not believe that therapy is in the cards. These things have a way of sorting themselves out over time.
Nothing extremely exciting to report, other than Alabama beating Ole Miss into the ground. I had a feeling that it was going to get ugly after the Ole Miss quarterback made the mistake of talking smack about us during the week. Bad move, small fry. You made us have to smack you around. Tennessee is up next. The "3rd Saturday in October" is always a big deal, even when Tennessee has a less than stellar team.
In other news...
*The dog is addicted to acorns.
*I'm addicted to jalapeno poppers.
*Mrs. Leslie is addicted to reading articles about pet food.
*The girl child is addicted to anime and spaghetti-o's.
Clearly, we all have our demons to face down. However, I do not believe that therapy is in the cards. These things have a way of sorting themselves out over time.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Carrie Makes No Sense
The girl child and I watched the Stephen King movie, "Carrie" last night. Being a fan of all things horror, I had seen it many years ago. Though I remembered the premise, and remembered the high school gym "kill 'em all" scene, I could not remember how it ended.
I semi-understand why the mother wanted to kill her, and fully understood the need for Carrie to kill her mother. What I did not understand at all was why the house basic imploded. Maybe I am just too naive to understand, but from what I gathered, Carrie was basically a good person. Sure, she killed all those teens, but didn't they have it coming? I just do not get it.
The "13 Nights of Halloween" is about to kick off on several channels. This fact is much to the dismay of Mrs. Leslie, who prefers to never watch the same movie twice. I, however, will watch some horror and Christmas movies over, and over, and over again. I've probably watched each of the "Halloween" movies 10-15 times. Before I meet my maker, that number will have greatly increased.
Though she does not like that I insist on watching these movies repeatedly, Mrs. Leslie is slightly less lippy about it now. After living together for almost four years, she has learned what she can or cannot change. I do try to even the score by allowing the occasional "House Hunters International" marathon. This is likely what makes us work. My set ways are accepted, so long as I am willing to bend just a little.
I semi-understand why the mother wanted to kill her, and fully understood the need for Carrie to kill her mother. What I did not understand at all was why the house basic imploded. Maybe I am just too naive to understand, but from what I gathered, Carrie was basically a good person. Sure, she killed all those teens, but didn't they have it coming? I just do not get it.
The "13 Nights of Halloween" is about to kick off on several channels. This fact is much to the dismay of Mrs. Leslie, who prefers to never watch the same movie twice. I, however, will watch some horror and Christmas movies over, and over, and over again. I've probably watched each of the "Halloween" movies 10-15 times. Before I meet my maker, that number will have greatly increased.
Though she does not like that I insist on watching these movies repeatedly, Mrs. Leslie is slightly less lippy about it now. After living together for almost four years, she has learned what she can or cannot change. I do try to even the score by allowing the occasional "House Hunters International" marathon. This is likely what makes us work. My set ways are accepted, so long as I am willing to bend just a little.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Examining My Underwater Camera Choices
There are few things as interesting to me as the thought of being able to take underwater pictures. With our move to Florida coming up in a few months, I have been taking a closer look at my choices. It seems that there are actually two basic options.
The first option would be to purchase one of the underwater cameras that do not need a case. These are good up to certain depths, and this depth varies by specific model. Most of the choices are suitable for shallow waters, typically ten feet deep or less.
In order to take pictures in deeper waters, a waterproof camera case will be required. Obviously, these cases are also used for simply protecting a camera while at the beach, or in rainy conditions. The benefit of this option is that I may be able to use my existing camera to capture underwater shots.
I will likely opt for both the underwater camera and case. This will allow me to have the option to take shots under different types of conditions, depending on where we are, and what we wish to do at any given time. Covering all my bases always tend the be the best decision, and leaves me with no regrets!
The first option would be to purchase one of the underwater cameras that do not need a case. These are good up to certain depths, and this depth varies by specific model. Most of the choices are suitable for shallow waters, typically ten feet deep or less.
In order to take pictures in deeper waters, a waterproof camera case will be required. Obviously, these cases are also used for simply protecting a camera while at the beach, or in rainy conditions. The benefit of this option is that I may be able to use my existing camera to capture underwater shots.
I will likely opt for both the underwater camera and case. This will allow me to have the option to take shots under different types of conditions, depending on where we are, and what we wish to do at any given time. Covering all my bases always tend the be the best decision, and leaves me with no regrets!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
In the Spirit
I love October, and I love Halloween. I'm always disappointed that we don't have 500 trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood. However, I still make the most of it by cramming in every scary show and horror movie that I can. The old adage is, "write what you know" and I have done just that on several occasions. Below are a few of these articles...
Five Dumbest Horror Movies of All Time
Top 5 Scariest Ghost Hunters Episodes
The Best Ghost Shows on Television
Horror Movie Life Lessons: Avoiding Death at All Costs
Five Scariest Little Known Horror Movies
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I'm Trying...
I try to update this blog as frequently as possible, but have been so busy. Good busy, not bad busy. Fall is always a busy time for me, with football season in full swing, and the holidays coming up. These are good things, and the fact that my business is finally starting to take off is a good thing as well.
I've been working to bring in new clients, and it is working. It seems that this task was not as daunting as I originally feared. A few eBay listings have already resulted in new business. I wish I had thought of that earlier. I will continue to use this to build my client base, and hopefully will soon find myself with more work than I can even complete on my own. Though I am near that point already. I have lots of bad traits. However, lack of ambition is not one of them.
Alabama stomped Florida last Saturday night, much to my delight. My fantasy team won as well. This win was bittersweet, as my team was playing my brother's team. He needed a win in the worst way, so I could not overly celebrate. Currently I am 3-1, but after losing my top receiver to injury, who knows what will happen.
Life with our dog, Sebastian, continues to be interesting. We dress him in baby clothes, (yes, I am THAT person) and have plans for purchasing him an entire wardrobe. It's hard to believe that a full grown dog can be so small. I'm always worried that I will step on one of this legs, which are the size of a chicken leg.
He is a stinky dog, and does have to have baths. He does not, however, have stinky dog breath. He does not fart, but does burp quite a lot. You take the good with the bad, I suppose. Even if he does get gassy with time, and gets wicked breath, we're keeping him.
I've been working to bring in new clients, and it is working. It seems that this task was not as daunting as I originally feared. A few eBay listings have already resulted in new business. I wish I had thought of that earlier. I will continue to use this to build my client base, and hopefully will soon find myself with more work than I can even complete on my own. Though I am near that point already. I have lots of bad traits. However, lack of ambition is not one of them.
Alabama stomped Florida last Saturday night, much to my delight. My fantasy team won as well. This win was bittersweet, as my team was playing my brother's team. He needed a win in the worst way, so I could not overly celebrate. Currently I am 3-1, but after losing my top receiver to injury, who knows what will happen.
Life with our dog, Sebastian, continues to be interesting. We dress him in baby clothes, (yes, I am THAT person) and have plans for purchasing him an entire wardrobe. It's hard to believe that a full grown dog can be so small. I'm always worried that I will step on one of this legs, which are the size of a chicken leg.
He is a stinky dog, and does have to have baths. He does not, however, have stinky dog breath. He does not fart, but does burp quite a lot. You take the good with the bad, I suppose. Even if he does get gassy with time, and gets wicked breath, we're keeping him.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Recipes
Guest post from: Mohamed Simon
I never write recipes down. Every recipe I use was either given to me by someone who wrote it down for me or it is printed from the internet. Thank goodness we have satellite internet from http://www.satelliteinternetbroadband.com/ because every time I need a recipe, I just type the ingredients I want to use into Google and it finds me a recipe to use them in. I really need to start keeping a book of the recipes I use frequently. Every time I make cinnamon rolls, I use a recipe from the show Semi-homemade with Sandra Lee. I should probably know the recipe since I have made them so many times, and I do know the ingredients, but I can never remember how much of each ingredient to use. I always have to go to foodnetwork.com and find the recipe. It is the same scenario when I make pumpkin bread every fall. I love Paula Deen’s recipe for it, but for some reason I just cannot remember it off of the top of my head. Maybe for Christmas I should ask for a recipe book to keep all of my recipes in.
I never write recipes down. Every recipe I use was either given to me by someone who wrote it down for me or it is printed from the internet. Thank goodness we have satellite internet from http://www.satelliteinternetbroadband.com/ because every time I need a recipe, I just type the ingredients I want to use into Google and it finds me a recipe to use them in. I really need to start keeping a book of the recipes I use frequently. Every time I make cinnamon rolls, I use a recipe from the show Semi-homemade with Sandra Lee. I should probably know the recipe since I have made them so many times, and I do know the ingredients, but I can never remember how much of each ingredient to use. I always have to go to foodnetwork.com and find the recipe. It is the same scenario when I make pumpkin bread every fall. I love Paula Deen’s recipe for it, but for some reason I just cannot remember it off of the top of my head. Maybe for Christmas I should ask for a recipe book to keep all of my recipes in.
Monday, September 26, 2011
The Rules of Game Attendance
My brother scored us tickets to this past weeks Alabama/Arkansas game. This was quite exciting, as it was a big game, and I had not been to one in while. Those that have never been to a live college football game should know a few things in advance. There is no doubt that you will have a good time, but you need to be prepared for the work and expense that is involved. Consider the following before heading out:
1. If you wish to buy tickets from a scalper, you can. However, if you will be attending a big time SEC matchup, be prepared to shell out $150 per ticket, or more. Keep in mind that it will cost you $20 to park, and that the cost of the food is similar to the prices that you pay when you go to the movies. You best have deep pockets if you wish to enjoy the festivities.
2. If you are not in good shape, you best consider purchasing tickets on the lower levels, and parking as close as possible to the stadium. After a mile walk from the car to the stadium, climbing eight flights of stairs, and then climbing up 23 rows of seats...well, lets just say that the fact that I do all of my work sitting down each day came back to bite me in the rear.
3. If you will be attending a game in the South at any point before November, bring your sunscreen. The sun was directly to our left, which left me with a nice sunburn on only half of my head and face. I do not have to tell you that this looks quite odd, as I'm sure it is easy to imagine. My left ear felt like someone was holding a lit match next to it by halftime.
4. Last but not least, try to avoid the port-a-potties. Since college stadiums do not allow you to drink inside, your natural tendency may be to drink up before going in. The problem with this is that you will not have access to clean restrooms until you make it through the gate, leaving you a port-a-potty (if you are lucky). Even when you hover, there is always the chance that your shorts will rest in the pee on the seat, at which point you have no choice but to live with it. This is not a good feeling, even after many beers. Trust me on this.
Take this advice from someone that has to learn everything the hard way. My loss is your gain. College games, especially Alabama games, are tons of fun so long as you know what's up before you go. By the way, Alabama did win in grand fashion, which made all of these inconveniences completely worthwhile. :)
1. If you wish to buy tickets from a scalper, you can. However, if you will be attending a big time SEC matchup, be prepared to shell out $150 per ticket, or more. Keep in mind that it will cost you $20 to park, and that the cost of the food is similar to the prices that you pay when you go to the movies. You best have deep pockets if you wish to enjoy the festivities.
2. If you are not in good shape, you best consider purchasing tickets on the lower levels, and parking as close as possible to the stadium. After a mile walk from the car to the stadium, climbing eight flights of stairs, and then climbing up 23 rows of seats...well, lets just say that the fact that I do all of my work sitting down each day came back to bite me in the rear.
3. If you will be attending a game in the South at any point before November, bring your sunscreen. The sun was directly to our left, which left me with a nice sunburn on only half of my head and face. I do not have to tell you that this looks quite odd, as I'm sure it is easy to imagine. My left ear felt like someone was holding a lit match next to it by halftime.
4. Last but not least, try to avoid the port-a-potties. Since college stadiums do not allow you to drink inside, your natural tendency may be to drink up before going in. The problem with this is that you will not have access to clean restrooms until you make it through the gate, leaving you a port-a-potty (if you are lucky). Even when you hover, there is always the chance that your shorts will rest in the pee on the seat, at which point you have no choice but to live with it. This is not a good feeling, even after many beers. Trust me on this.
Take this advice from someone that has to learn everything the hard way. My loss is your gain. College games, especially Alabama games, are tons of fun so long as you know what's up before you go. By the way, Alabama did win in grand fashion, which made all of these inconveniences completely worthwhile. :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Oh, Happy Day!
My nemesis, Auburn, finally lost a game yesterday. This snapped their 17 game win streak, and left me absolutely verklempt. I've been waiting a LONG time for this to happen, and it was just as pleasing as I thought it would be. Hopefully, there will be many more this season. Suck it, Auburn!
Alabama won 48-0, but since the game was against North Texas, this was no big accomplishment. We are currently ranked at #2, but I fear that we are overrated. Plenty of talent, but a quarterback that is average. I guess we'll see what happens. The last time I felt this way, we won the National Championship, so what do I know?
I still don't have the Halloween decorations up, but they have been moved from the shed to the back porch. I had planned to do it today, but seeing as how it is hot today, that killed the mood. I will wait for the next cold front, which should be sometime this week.
Life with four pets continues to be interesting. Michelle and I comically chased the puppy around this morning attempting to get him to drop the huge spider he had in his mouth. Yesterday he ate cat vomit out of the yard. The day before that, he ate poop, and then deposited some of it on Michelle's hand. He also has an addiction to eating acorns. Never a dull moment...
Alabama won 48-0, but since the game was against North Texas, this was no big accomplishment. We are currently ranked at #2, but I fear that we are overrated. Plenty of talent, but a quarterback that is average. I guess we'll see what happens. The last time I felt this way, we won the National Championship, so what do I know?
I still don't have the Halloween decorations up, but they have been moved from the shed to the back porch. I had planned to do it today, but seeing as how it is hot today, that killed the mood. I will wait for the next cold front, which should be sometime this week.
Life with four pets continues to be interesting. Michelle and I comically chased the puppy around this morning attempting to get him to drop the huge spider he had in his mouth. Yesterday he ate cat vomit out of the yard. The day before that, he ate poop, and then deposited some of it on Michelle's hand. He also has an addiction to eating acorns. Never a dull moment...
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Dominator
I dominated this week in fantasy football
. Not only did I wipe the floor with my opponent, but I outscored everyone in the league. I'm trying to reserve my excitement, but I would love nothing more than to be the champ again. Second, third, and forth place are not enough!
What I am not dominating is our new dog. He is extremely well behaved, but I am still in the learning curve. We took him to Pet Smart today, and he started to pee on the floor. I stood there like a deer in headlights. I suppose those accidents happen all the time, but I panicked. As I stood there dumbfounded, Michelle said, "Take him outside!" What? Huh? Where am I?
We have decided not to move until after the holidays. This means that I can decorate for Halloween. I wanted to be the first person in town to do this, but upon leaving the house today, I discovered that I have already been beat. Oh well, I can still put the decoration up at an unreasonably early date.
. Not only did I wipe the floor with my opponent, but I outscored everyone in the league. I'm trying to reserve my excitement, but I would love nothing more than to be the champ again. Second, third, and forth place are not enough!What I am not dominating is our new dog. He is extremely well behaved, but I am still in the learning curve. We took him to Pet Smart today, and he started to pee on the floor. I stood there like a deer in headlights. I suppose those accidents happen all the time, but I panicked. As I stood there dumbfounded, Michelle said, "Take him outside!" What? Huh? Where am I?
We have decided not to move until after the holidays. This means that I can decorate for Halloween. I wanted to be the first person in town to do this, but upon leaving the house today, I discovered that I have already been beat. Oh well, I can still put the decoration up at an unreasonably early date.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Taking It To the Field
You may have heard, NFL starts tonight. I do not have any fantasy players in tonight's game, but do have a big match up this week. My team is average at best, but there are a few players that might offer some upside. I'm anxious to see what happens.
In the college world, my Crimson Tide plays Penn State. This should be a really good game. I'm looking forward to seeing Joe Pa on the sidelines again this year. I really do not like many coaches, but he is one that you have to respect. Of course there was Bobby Bowden, but since Florida State ran him off, that really only leaves Paterno.
Last week Alabama played both quarterbacks. I wish I could tell you exactly how each performed, but I had too many beers. This made the game quite hazy. Had we been playing in a big match up, I would have felt guilty for paying so little attention. However, it was a cream puff game against Kent State.
College and NFL are back. I live for these times. Between now and January, I will have plenty of reasons to enjoy life. Yes, I have plenty of reasons during other months of the year, but you have no idea how much football sweetens the pot. On second thought, if you feel like this guy when football is in season, then maybe you do...
In the college world, my Crimson Tide plays Penn State. This should be a really good game. I'm looking forward to seeing Joe Pa on the sidelines again this year. I really do not like many coaches, but he is one that you have to respect. Of course there was Bobby Bowden, but since Florida State ran him off, that really only leaves Paterno.
Last week Alabama played both quarterbacks. I wish I could tell you exactly how each performed, but I had too many beers. This made the game quite hazy. Had we been playing in a big match up, I would have felt guilty for paying so little attention. However, it was a cream puff game against Kent State.
College and NFL are back. I live for these times. Between now and January, I will have plenty of reasons to enjoy life. Yes, I have plenty of reasons during other months of the year, but you have no idea how much football sweetens the pot. On second thought, if you feel like this guy when football is in season, then maybe you do...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sebastian
Spent almost a week in St. Augustine. Upon arrival, I mauled Michelle. After that, I headed in to meet our new love child, Sebastian. She was warning me that it might take a little time for him to warm up to me. She was wrong. Within minutes he was sitting on my lap, and giving me those puppy dog eyes.
The drive between Birmingham and St. Augustine is eight long hours. Fortunately, he was an extremely well behaved young pup on the drive back. Michelle held him the entire time, and he slept most of the way. The cats are not sure what to make of him, but have yet to attack him.
Just look at this face...
I suppose I should give equal time to at least one of the cats. This fat fluff ball seems to cram herself into the oddest places. This time it was in a bowl on our dining room table...
I love our pets, but I think we have reached the maximum limit. One dog and three cats are MORE than enough. It's like having a bunch of babies around. They all need attention, and we have to spend money on them. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world, but four is plenty.
The drive between Birmingham and St. Augustine is eight long hours. Fortunately, he was an extremely well behaved young pup on the drive back. Michelle held him the entire time, and he slept most of the way. The cats are not sure what to make of him, but have yet to attack him.
Just look at this face...
I suppose I should give equal time to at least one of the cats. This fat fluff ball seems to cram herself into the oddest places. This time it was in a bowl on our dining room table...
I love our pets, but I think we have reached the maximum limit. One dog and three cats are MORE than enough. It's like having a bunch of babies around. They all need attention, and we have to spend money on them. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world, but four is plenty.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Dog Days of Summer
My better half will be returning from Florida next week. I cannot stress how happy I am about this, as I have spend the last week walking around in a stupor. I did pretty well for about an hour or so, and then it was all downhill from there.
While there, she volunteered at a pet shelter. This led to her becoming attached to a small chihuahua. This shelter allows you to take dogs home for a one week trial run. Of course this trial run resulted in an adoption, and we are now the proud owners of a tiny dog named Sebastian.
I have always been a cat person. I love how independent they are, and how they do not have the ability to bark. That said, we have been discussing getting a dog for a long time, and had agreed that at some point we would. I do wonder how our three feisty cats will adjust to having a dog around. With Sebastian weighing less than two of the cats, he might not fare well in a toe to toe battle.
I am more excited than apprehensive about having this new dog. I already have great outfits planned for him to wear, including a full line of Alabama football doggie jerseys and sweaters. I might even consider carrying a purse just so that I can tuck Sebastian in, and take him with me wherever I go.
Man, it is so on...
While there, she volunteered at a pet shelter. This led to her becoming attached to a small chihuahua. This shelter allows you to take dogs home for a one week trial run. Of course this trial run resulted in an adoption, and we are now the proud owners of a tiny dog named Sebastian.
I have always been a cat person. I love how independent they are, and how they do not have the ability to bark. That said, we have been discussing getting a dog for a long time, and had agreed that at some point we would. I do wonder how our three feisty cats will adjust to having a dog around. With Sebastian weighing less than two of the cats, he might not fare well in a toe to toe battle.
I am more excited than apprehensive about having this new dog. I already have great outfits planned for him to wear, including a full line of Alabama football doggie jerseys and sweaters. I might even consider carrying a purse just so that I can tuck Sebastian in, and take him with me wherever I go.
Man, it is so on...
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Middle of the Pack
I met up with my brother and some of the other members of our fantasy football clan at Tilted Kilt to draw cards for where we will pick in the draft next week. Last year I was lucky enough to draw the #1 spot, and I didn't suspect that I would be that lucky two years in a row. I was right, #6 is where I will be.
Oddly enough, I am fine with that. There was a time when not have one of the top three spots meant impending doom and gloom. Today, things are much more even. I also have the added comfort of knowing that I have enough skills to make any lineup work. I've only missed making the playoffs once since 2003, which tells me I will be fine no matter who I pick.
Oddly enough, I am fine with that. There was a time when not have one of the top three spots meant impending doom and gloom. Today, things are much more even. I also have the added comfort of knowing that I have enough skills to make any lineup work. I've only missed making the playoffs once since 2003, which tells me I will be fine no matter who I pick.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Can You Feel It?
In reality, you cannot feel it in Alabama until October, but you still know that football is just around the corner. The NFL has worked out their issues, and pre-season games are underway. My fantasy football draft is on the 27th, and as usual, I am busy trying to catch up with which players moved to new teams, and who might be an injury risk.
College football starts in about two weeks. In typical fashion, Alabama plays a no-name team in their first game. Usually this is not all that exciting, but with a new quarterback, and several other new starters, it should be worth the fortune that it costs to watch the game on pay-per-view.
As usual, since acquiring Nick Saban, Alabama will be ranked highly, and should be in the hunt for a National Championship. Lord knows I would love my team no matter what, but the fact that we are always in the mix for all the marbles certainly adds to my enjoyment.
Watching Auburn win the National Championship last year was a tough pill to swallow. With their savior, Cam Newton gone, they will experience quite a different fate this time around. Sure, it may sound shallow to an outsider to hear about my loathing of Auburn. It is what it is, and I could care less how it sounds. I'm pretty sure that hating Auburn is part of every Alabama fans genetic composition, therefore I feel no need to defend it.
College football starts in about two weeks. In typical fashion, Alabama
plays a no-name team in their first game. Usually this is not all that exciting, but with a new quarterback, and several other new starters, it should be worth the fortune that it costs to watch the game on pay-per-view.As usual, since acquiring Nick Saban, Alabama will be ranked highly, and should be in the hunt for a National Championship. Lord knows I would love my team no matter what, but the fact that we are always in the mix for all the marbles certainly adds to my enjoyment.
Watching Auburn win the National Championship last year was a tough pill to swallow. With their savior, Cam Newton gone, they will experience quite a different fate this time around. Sure, it may sound shallow to an outsider to hear about my loathing of Auburn. It is what it is, and I could care less how it sounds. I'm pretty sure that hating Auburn is part of every Alabama fans genetic composition, therefore I feel no need to defend it.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Endless Summer
I recently spent a week in Panama City Beach, Florida. We stayed in a huge condo, and had the luxury of waking up to this view each morning...
Though I was on top of the sunscreen situation, over the course of five days I still managed to get burnt. When one has the complexion of Casper the Ghost, avoiding sunburn is nearly impossible. We spent the mornings in the ocean, the afternoons in the pool, and the nights eating out and doing the tourist thing. I did lose at putt-putt, but was a champ at the arcade.
I will freely admit that trying to get back into my work routine this week has been tough. I would much rather be back in the pool, playing goofy games and drinking Corona. I can take some comfort in the fact that Michelle and I will be moving to St. Augustine in the next month or two, and I will be able to hang out at the beach, and hopefully poolside, as much as time will allow.
I would be a liar if I said I was not dreading the process of moving. We plan to get rid of some of the larger items before we move, but there are some things we simply do not want to part with. Michelle is flying down Monday morning to start looking for a new home. There really is no way to decide what to take or get rid of until we know how much space we will have. That said, I'm sure we will be downsizing, as we will have to sacrifice space to be able to afford to live right on the ocean.
I suppose it will sort itself out. But until then, I will continue to pre-worry because that it what I am best at.
Though I was on top of the sunscreen situation, over the course of five days I still managed to get burnt. When one has the complexion of Casper the Ghost, avoiding sunburn is nearly impossible. We spent the mornings in the ocean, the afternoons in the pool, and the nights eating out and doing the tourist thing. I did lose at putt-putt, but was a champ at the arcade.
I will freely admit that trying to get back into my work routine this week has been tough. I would much rather be back in the pool, playing goofy games and drinking Corona. I can take some comfort in the fact that Michelle and I will be moving to St. Augustine in the next month or two, and I will be able to hang out at the beach, and hopefully poolside, as much as time will allow.
I would be a liar if I said I was not dreading the process of moving. We plan to get rid of some of the larger items before we move, but there are some things we simply do not want to part with. Michelle is flying down Monday morning to start looking for a new home. There really is no way to decide what to take or get rid of until we know how much space we will have. That said, I'm sure we will be downsizing, as we will have to sacrifice space to be able to afford to live right on the ocean.
I suppose it will sort itself out. But until then, I will continue to pre-worry because that it what I am best at.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Funny Facebook Mistakes: The Best of the Worst
Funny Facebook mistakes take place each and every day. Whether you have ten friends, or ten thousand, hilarity ensues when you allow just anyone to use social media as an outlet. The following are a few of the funny Facebook personality types and some of the posting mistakes they make.
I Hate My Job
You likely have at least one "I hate my job" friends on your list. While you might get tired of their constant groaning about how their job makes their life miserable, you will want to follow these posts for the funny Facebook mistake of adding their co-workers or boss. When this person makes the mistake of telling what a dirt bag their boss is on their status, and their boss reads it, the response is sure to be hilarious.
I Cannot Spell
Some days I find this funny Facebook mistake is good for a few laughs, other times it scares me to death. The sheer number of people on Facebook that cannot spell even common words is terrifying. However, some of these misspellings turn into fun when what should have been a simple word turns into something naughty. Sometimes these are really just Freudian slips, or auto-correct induced errors, but when "pens" gets posted as "penis" it is pretty darn funny.
I Was Hacked!
Most hackings are done by friends and family members. Those with a great sense of humor make the best hackers, as the statuses they post are usually quite funny. I have yet to hack either of my teenagers Facebook, but rest assured that when I do, "I enjoy eating boogers!" is totally going up on their wall. Even funnier are the people that get angry once they have been hacked. Their irate responses are almost as funny as the hack post itself.
My Life Is Better Than Yours
Oh, you know you have at least one of these people as your friend. These are the men and women who post on a daily basis about how wonderful and perfect their lives are. While these posts certainly do not fall into the funny Facebook posts category, the result of this type of posting does. Eventually this type of posting will cause someone that they annoy to completely crack. When this happens, the rant that ensues is nothing short of hilarious.
Funny Facebook mistakes are all around us. While I do enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to, it is the humor factor that keeps me coming back each day. Not every day do I receive the side-splitting laughter I so enjoy, but I do manage to get at least a chuckle every time I log on, and for that I say, "Thanks Facebook!"
I Hate My Job
You likely have at least one "I hate my job" friends on your list. While you might get tired of their constant groaning about how their job makes their life miserable, you will want to follow these posts for the funny Facebook mistake of adding their co-workers or boss. When this person makes the mistake of telling what a dirt bag their boss is on their status, and their boss reads it, the response is sure to be hilarious.
I Cannot Spell
Some days I find this funny Facebook mistake is good for a few laughs, other times it scares me to death. The sheer number of people on Facebook that cannot spell even common words is terrifying. However, some of these misspellings turn into fun when what should have been a simple word turns into something naughty. Sometimes these are really just Freudian slips, or auto-correct induced errors, but when "pens" gets posted as "penis" it is pretty darn funny.
I Was Hacked!
Most hackings are done by friends and family members. Those with a great sense of humor make the best hackers, as the statuses they post are usually quite funny. I have yet to hack either of my teenagers Facebook, but rest assured that when I do, "I enjoy eating boogers!" is totally going up on their wall. Even funnier are the people that get angry once they have been hacked. Their irate responses are almost as funny as the hack post itself.
My Life Is Better Than Yours
Oh, you know you have at least one of these people as your friend. These are the men and women who post on a daily basis about how wonderful and perfect their lives are. While these posts certainly do not fall into the funny Facebook posts category, the result of this type of posting does. Eventually this type of posting will cause someone that they annoy to completely crack. When this happens, the rant that ensues is nothing short of hilarious.
Funny Facebook mistakes are all around us. While I do enjoy seeing what my friends and family are up to, it is the humor factor that keeps me coming back each day. Not every day do I receive the side-splitting laughter I so enjoy, but I do manage to get at least a chuckle every time I log on, and for that I say, "Thanks Facebook!"
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Five of the Funniest Movies Ever Made
Everyone enjoys a good laugh from time to time. If you are not blessed to be surrounded by funny people, you will need to get your comedy fix elsewhere. Nowhere can this be found more easily than in the movies. The following is a list of five of the funniest movies ever made.
Drop Dead Gorgeous
It may require a certain sense of humor to truly appreciate this movie. If you are quick witted, and enjoy humor that is a tad on the dark side, you will love this movie. The movie is about a small town beauty pageant, and stars Kirsten Dunst, Ellen Barkin, Kirstie Alley, and Denise Richards. I am not sure that there has ever been a movie that made me laugh out loud more times that Drop Dead Gorgeous
, and this is definitely one of the funniest movies ever made.
House of 1,000 Corpses
Fans of both horror and crude humor will love House of 1,000 Corpses
. The set up is the typical teens in trouble, and of course, going to be killed. What sets this movie apart from the typical teen horror flick, and makes it one of the funniest movies ever made, is the psycho clown, and his extremely crude humor. This is not a movie to watch with the children, as it contains lots of cursing and sexual references.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Is there anything better than a hilarious Christmas movie? Any of the Vacation movies could easily make this list, however, this is considered by many to be the funniest movie of the series. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the story of Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) and his slightly odd family spending the holidays together. Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) has to be one of the funniest characters of all time. This movie offers plenty of laugh out loud moments, and has become a must see movie every December.
Don't Be A Menace
The full title is actually Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice In the Hood. Again, not a movie to watch with the kids, but I laughed until I literally cried while watching this spoof of popular gang and urban culture movies. If you have not watched movies such as Boyz n the Hood, you may not find this quite as funny as others. Though I suspect even if you never watched even one of the movies that Don't Be a Menace
spoofs, you will still find plenty of laughs here.
Elf
Yes, I realize there are two Christmas comedies on this list of the funniest movies ever made, but this movie is Will Ferrel at this best! This is silly humor, and is also humor that is timeless. I could watch this movie over and over again and still be laughing. Elf is the story of Buddy the Elf. Buddy leaves the North Pole in search of this father in New York City. His travels and experiences are quite out of the ordinary, and make for big laughs.
There you have it. Five of the funniest movies ever made. Humor is subjective, but the chances that you will get big laughs from one, or more, of the movies on this list are good. Most, if not all, of these movies should be available on Netflix or Hulu, so get busy watching and laughing!
Drop Dead Gorgeous
It may require a certain sense of humor to truly appreciate this movie. If you are quick witted, and enjoy humor that is a tad on the dark side, you will love this movie. The movie is about a small town beauty pageant, and stars Kirsten Dunst, Ellen Barkin, Kirstie Alley, and Denise Richards. I am not sure that there has ever been a movie that made me laugh out loud more times that Drop Dead Gorgeous, and this is definitely one of the funniest movies ever made.House of 1,000 Corpses
Fans of both horror and crude humor will love House of 1,000 Corpses. The set up is the typical teens in trouble, and of course, going to be killed. What sets this movie apart from the typical teen horror flick, and makes it one of the funniest movies ever made, is the psycho clown, and his extremely crude humor. This is not a movie to watch with the children, as it contains lots of cursing and sexual references.National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Is there anything better than a hilarious Christmas movie? Any of the Vacation movies could easily make this list, however, this is considered by many to be the funniest movie of the series. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the story of Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) and his slightly odd family spending the holidays together. Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) has to be one of the funniest characters of all time. This movie offers plenty of laugh out loud moments, and has become a must see movie every December.Don't Be A Menace
The full title is actually Don't Be A Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice In the Hood. Again, not a movie to watch with the kids, but I laughed until I literally cried while watching this spoof of popular gang and urban culture movies. If you have not watched movies such as Boyz n the Hood, you may not find this quite as funny as others. Though I suspect even if you never watched even one of the movies that Don't Be a Menace spoofs, you will still find plenty of laughs here.Elf
Yes, I realize there are two Christmas comedies on this list of the funniest movies ever made, but this movie is Will Ferrel at this best! This is silly humor, and is also humor that is timeless. I could watch this movie over and over again and still be laughing. Elf is the story of Buddy the Elf. Buddy leaves the North Pole in search of this father in New York City. His travels and experiences are quite out of the ordinary, and make for big laughs.There you have it. Five of the funniest movies ever made. Humor is subjective, but the chances that you will get big laughs from one, or more, of the movies on this list are good. Most, if not all, of these movies should be available on Netflix or Hulu, so get busy watching and laughing!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tailgating at Home the Southern Way
It is no secret that we Southerners love our football. Since few of us can afford to go to every single game, we have adopted a home version of tailgating. With transplants from all over arriving in the South daily, it is important that they learn how to properly prepare should they decide to host a Saturday football get together. The following are some of the best ways to tailgate at home in the South.
Have Lots of Beer On Hand
Yes, I know that people drink beer before football games all across the nation. However, you likely have never seen a Southerner down a six pack of Bud Light in less than ten minutes, and I am talking about the
women here.
Do not waste your money on imported beers. It is not that Southerners do not like imports, but that unless you have deep pockets, football Saturday beer is going to cost you a lot of money.
Feel free to tell your guests that the B.Y.O.B. policy is in place if you wish. We Southerners are used to that, and usually show up with beer anyway because we are afraid you might run out.
Pre-Game Entertainment
Having a football to throw around in the yard is considered mandatory. After that, feel free to get creative, but not too creative. Pre-game scrapbooking is not acceptable. Think more along the lines of playing Truth or Dare. Do not be alarmed if someone gets injured during the game, as we play it quite differently in the South. Another good idea is drinking games. Tread lightly here, otherwise you might miss seeing the game, and see only the toilet instead.
Home Tailgating Food
The following are must have food items: a cake or big cookie with the team logo on it, fried chicken fingers, tortilla chips with Velveeta and Rotel cheese dip, and mini pigs in a blanket. If it is cold, you must serve chili 
with corn chips and shredded cheddar.
After these things, the choices are up to you. But keep in mind that we Southerners do not want to eat anything frou-frou on game day. Save that expensive caviar for a day when people are sober, and will appreciate it more.
If you have beer, food, and entertainment planned out correctly, your home tailgating party will go off without a hitch. I should offer one final piece of advice though, and that would be to never invite a fan of the opposing team to your home tailgate event. Southerners do believe that we are all created equal, but this belief disappears for four hours each Saturday in the Fall. Plan accordingly, people.
Have Lots of Beer On Hand
Yes, I know that people drink beer before football games all across the nation. However, you likely have never seen a Southerner down a six pack of Bud Light in less than ten minutes, and I am talking about the
women here.Do not waste your money on imported beers. It is not that Southerners do not like imports, but that unless you have deep pockets, football Saturday beer is going to cost you a lot of money.Feel free to tell your guests that the B.Y.O.B. policy is in place if you wish. We Southerners are used to that, and usually show up with beer anyway because we are afraid you might run out.
Pre-Game Entertainment
Having a football to throw around in the yard is considered mandatory. After that, feel free to get creative, but not too creative. Pre-game scrapbooking is not acceptable. Think more along the lines of playing Truth or Dare. Do not be alarmed if someone gets injured during the game, as we play it quite differently in the South. Another good idea is drinking games. Tread lightly here, otherwise you might miss seeing the game, and see only the toilet instead.
Home Tailgating Food
The following are must have food items: a cake or big cookie with the team logo on it, fried chicken fingers, tortilla chips with Velveeta and Rotel cheese dip, and mini pigs in a blanket. If it is cold, you must serve chili with corn chips and shredded cheddar.After these things, the choices are up to you. But keep in mind that we Southerners do not want to eat anything frou-frou on game day. Save that expensive caviar for a day when people are sober, and will appreciate it more.
If you have beer, food, and entertainment planned out correctly, your home tailgating party will go off without a hitch. I should offer one final piece of advice though, and that would be to never invite a fan of the opposing team to your home tailgate event. Southerners do believe that we are all created equal, but this belief disappears for four hours each Saturday in the Fall. Plan accordingly, people.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What Your Cat Really Wants You to Know
I am the proud owner of three female cats. I have given them excellent names: Kitten, Kit Kat, and New Kitty. These three cats have bonded with me, despite their names, and have taught me how to read kitty minds. I will now share what I have learned with you, in hopes of you being able to better understand your cats.
The Evil Eye
I have it on good authority that the evil eye is indeed meant to be evil. No, your cat is not getting tired, being exposed to bright light, or about to sneeze, when you see the evil eye come into play. The evil eye in the cat world means the same thing it does in the human world: you are making me mad! Once you see the evil eye, it is best to back off. Cats will not forgive you until they are hungry, so you will just have to wait it out.
I Am Not A Baby
You might think it is extremely cute when you hold your cat like a baby. However, Kitten told me that cats hate this. Upside down is not their natural state, and it leaves them feeling exposed. Holding a cat like a baby increases the chance that you will receive the evil eye once you put the cat down. Oh, and Kitten said that you also run the risk of being bitten or scratched if this happens too many times.
Can You Breathe?
When a cat wants to sleep on your face, this can mean one of two things. Kit Kat, the sweetest of the three, tells me that this means that they are trying to block out light sources, so that you will get a good nights rest. Kitten, the meanest of the three, tells me that when she does this when I have made her angry, and it is her way of trying to suffocate me. You will have to take the personality of your cat into consideration when trying to decipher how this move applies to you.
We Do Not Share
You know that feeling you get when someone takes a few of your tots without asking? You may not react visually, but inside you are thinking, "Back off my tots, moron!" Cats feel the same way, and prefer to be fed separately. This especially applies when you bring out the canned food. Canned food is the equivalent of "kitty pate" in the cat world, and they do not want to share it with any other felines.
That's Not Funny
Cats do have a sense of humor, albeit a strange one. A few of the things they do not find funny include: sneaking up from behind and scaring them, allowing your baby to become a tail pulling toddler, and bringing home a puppy. However, they do get a chuckle from seeing you fall, any bad haircuts you get, and watching you attempt to dance. New Kitty says the these funny things never get old, and will always be good for a laugh.
Now that I am blessed with the ability to read kitty minds, I have learned so much about cats. I cannot tell you that I like everything I have learned. Sleeping with one eye open is not as easy as it sounds. However, by telling me their deep, dark secrets, I now have enough information to blackmail these three cats into doing basically anything I tell them to. As soon as they learn how to do dishes, clean the toilet, and wash clothes, I am certain that this will work to my advantage.
The Evil Eye I have it on good authority that the evil eye is indeed meant to be evil. No, your cat is not getting tired, being exposed to bright light, or about to sneeze, when you see the evil eye come into play. The evil eye in the cat world means the same thing it does in the human world: you are making me mad! Once you see the evil eye, it is best to back off. Cats will not forgive you until they are hungry, so you will just have to wait it out.
I Am Not A Baby
You might think it is extremely cute when you hold your cat like a baby. However, Kitten told me that cats hate this. Upside down is not their natural state, and it leaves them feeling exposed. Holding a cat like a baby increases the chance that you will receive the evil eye once you put the cat down. Oh, and Kitten said that you also run the risk of being bitten or scratched if this happens too many times.
Can You Breathe?
When a cat wants to sleep on your face, this can mean one of two things. Kit Kat, the sweetest of the three, tells me that this means that they are trying to block out light sources, so that you will get a good nights rest. Kitten, the meanest of the three, tells me that when she does this when I have made her angry, and it is her way of trying to suffocate me. You will have to take the personality of your cat into consideration when trying to decipher how this move applies to you.
We Do Not Share
You know that feeling you get when someone takes a few of your tots without asking? You may not react visually, but inside you are thinking, "Back off my tots, moron!" Cats feel the same way, and prefer to be fed separately. This especially applies when you bring out the canned food. Canned food is the equivalent of "kitty pate" in the cat world, and they do not want to share it with any other felines.
That's Not Funny
Cats do have a sense of humor, albeit a strange one. A few of the things they do not find funny include: sneaking up from behind and scaring them, allowing your baby to become a tail pulling toddler, and bringing home a puppy. However, they do get a chuckle from seeing you fall, any bad haircuts you get, and watching you attempt to dance. New Kitty says the these funny things never get old, and will always be good for a laugh.
Now that I am blessed with the ability to read kitty minds, I have learned so much about cats. I cannot tell you that I like everything I have learned. Sleeping with one eye open is not as easy as it sounds. However, by telling me their deep, dark secrets, I now have enough information to blackmail these three cats into doing basically anything I tell them to. As soon as they learn how to do dishes, clean the toilet, and wash clothes, I am certain that this will work to my advantage.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Five Dumbest Horror Movies of All Time
I suppose there are plenty of movies in the history of horror that are more dumb than these five, however, there is only so many that I can cover in the space provided here. These five movies are some of the worst of the worst. If you have watched them, I'm sorry. If you have not, you may not want to after reading this. If nothing else, at least you will know what you are getting yourself into.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
You will see this movie show up on almost every dumb horror movie list. Why? Because Halloween III removes Michael Myers from the movie completely! Oh, there is one scene where Michael is pictured on a television that is playing in the background at a bar, but other than that, no Michael.
I wish I could tell you what the purpose of this was, especially after having two horror blockbusters in the form of Halloween, and Halloween II. To make matters worse, the movie is not even scary. Not even a little bit.
Sleepaway Camp
When Angela Baker is forced to go to camp with her cousin, bad things start to happen. Her behavior is so erratic that it is more weird than scary. Even at the very end, when Angela shocks your by showing you her penis, that's right, I said penis, you still do not understand what her/his major malfunction was. Sleepaway Camp is one movie of this horror movies list that does have somewhat of a cult following. However, I am not a card carrying member of this cult.
Blair Witch
I admit it, I fell for all of the Blair Witch hype, and even spent time online after watching this movie trying to find information that would convince my friends and family that what we had seen was real. Can you say, sucker? Only after learning that this was a work of fiction, was I able to see this for what it was. Bad acting, or should I say, overacting, is on display throughout this film. Actually, it is a shame, because if it had been well made, it would have been toward the top of any horror movies list.
The Slumber Party Massacre
This movie is particularly frustrating because it is one that makes you scream commands at the television. "Don't go in there! Are you freaking nuts, run! Turn around already!" are just a few of the words of wisdom I tried to offer these young ladies while I watched them meet their maker one by one. There are few things as frustrating as watching people die without putting up a good fight, and Slumber Party Massacre forces you to watch this happen over and over again.
Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes
The fact that Patty Duke is in this sequel makes it hard to watch. Not that Patty Duke is not an excellent actress, she just does not fit into a horror movie very well. By the time Amityville 4 was released in 1989, the topic had been beaten to death, and it becomes painfully apparent that there were no new angles to take, and nothing of value to add to this film release. The Amityville name alone prompted people to watch, but it could not prevent them from being disappointed.
Honorable awful horror movies list mention goes to all of the Leprechaun sequels, all of the Children of the Corn sequels, as well as all of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequels. Few horror movie sequels, with the exception of Halloween and Friday the 13th, are able to live up to how good the original movie was. However, they do some power. That being the ability to cause horror movie fans to waste a lot of time.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch You will see this movie show up on almost every dumb horror movie list. Why? Because Halloween III removes Michael Myers from the movie completely! Oh, there is one scene where Michael is pictured on a television that is playing in the background at a bar, but other than that, no Michael.
I wish I could tell you what the purpose of this was, especially after having two horror blockbusters in the form of Halloween, and Halloween II. To make matters worse, the movie is not even scary. Not even a little bit.
Sleepaway Camp When Angela Baker is forced to go to camp with her cousin, bad things start to happen. Her behavior is so erratic that it is more weird than scary. Even at the very end, when Angela shocks your by showing you her penis, that's right, I said penis, you still do not understand what her/his major malfunction was. Sleepaway Camp is one movie of this horror movies list that does have somewhat of a cult following. However, I am not a card carrying member of this cult.
Blair Witch I admit it, I fell for all of the Blair Witch hype, and even spent time online after watching this movie trying to find information that would convince my friends and family that what we had seen was real. Can you say, sucker? Only after learning that this was a work of fiction, was I able to see this for what it was. Bad acting, or should I say, overacting, is on display throughout this film. Actually, it is a shame, because if it had been well made, it would have been toward the top of any horror movies list.
The Slumber Party Massacre This movie is particularly frustrating because it is one that makes you scream commands at the television. "Don't go in there! Are you freaking nuts, run! Turn around already!" are just a few of the words of wisdom I tried to offer these young ladies while I watched them meet their maker one by one. There are few things as frustrating as watching people die without putting up a good fight, and Slumber Party Massacre forces you to watch this happen over and over again.
Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes The fact that Patty Duke is in this sequel makes it hard to watch. Not that Patty Duke is not an excellent actress, she just does not fit into a horror movie very well. By the time Amityville 4 was released in 1989, the topic had been beaten to death, and it becomes painfully apparent that there were no new angles to take, and nothing of value to add to this film release. The Amityville name alone prompted people to watch, but it could not prevent them from being disappointed.
Honorable awful horror movies list mention goes to all of the Leprechaun sequels, all of the Children of the Corn sequels, as well as all of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequels. Few horror movie sequels, with the exception of Halloween and Friday the 13th, are able to live up to how good the original movie was. However, they do some power. That being the ability to cause horror movie fans to waste a lot of time.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Five Things to Watch in the 2011 Baseball Season
The 2011 baseball season is in full swing, and as usual, there are many story lines emerging. Some of these involve the usual suspects, while others do not. The following five things are just a few items of interest to follow for the rest of the season.
The Future of Prince Fielder
The Brewers recently made it clear what their many priority is when they signed Ryan Braun to a five year extension deal worth one hundred and fifty million dollars. This will keep Braun with the Brewers all the way until 2020. Prince Fielder, who were once thought of as the face of the Brewers, has been shown his place in the hierarchy. The debate lies in how he will respond to this, and if he will choose to move on to another team that will regard him as their number one.
The Cleveland Indians '" Boom or Bust
We've seen this before. A team filled with little known players gets off to a hot start, and then fizzle out over the course of the season. With a combined team yearly salary of less than what even one major star makes, the Cleveland Indians seem to be getting a good deal for their money. For now, Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner are leading the way, and with a supporting cast of talented rookies, it is quite possible that this is a team that could keep the fireworks going throughout the season.
Berkman Is Back
Or at least he seems to be. Now considered a veteran, at the ripe old age of 35, Lance Berkman is putting up impressive numbers so far this season. Plenty of home runs, lots of RBI's, and a gaudy batting average have place Berkman back amount the baseball elite for the time being. The real question is if he will be able to keep it up, or wear down as the long season progresses.
The Cy Young Battle
The early season favorites are Roy Halladay and Tim Lincecum. Both are very different, yet both produce positive results. Lincecum draws a lot of attention, while Halladay does his thing without much hoopla. Both have impressive win stats, a high number of strikeouts, and incredibly low ERA's so far this season. One or the other has won the Cy Young Award each of the past three seasons. Stay tuned to see if another pitching star emerges and swipes the coveted award, but don't count on it.
The Future of Prince Fielder
The Brewers recently made it clear what their many priority is when they signed Ryan Braun
to a five year extension deal worth one hundred and fifty million dollars. This will keep Braun with the Brewers all the way until 2020. Prince Fielder, who were once thought of as the face of the Brewers, has been shown his place in the hierarchy. The debate lies in how he will respond to this, and if he will choose to move on to another team that will regard him as their number one.The Cleveland Indians '" Boom or Bust
We've seen this before. A team filled with little known players gets off to a hot start, and then fizzle out over the course of the season. With a combined team yearly salary of less than what even one major star makes, the Cleveland Indians
seem to be getting a good deal for their money. For now, Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner are leading the way, and with a supporting cast of talented rookies, it is quite possible that this is a team that could keep the fireworks going throughout the season.Berkman Is Back
Or at least he seems to be. Now considered a veteran, at the ripe old age of 35, Lance Berkman
is putting up impressive numbers so far this season. Plenty of home runs, lots of RBI's, and a gaudy batting average have place Berkman back amount the baseball elite for the time being. The real question is if he will be able to keep it up, or wear down as the long season progresses.The Cy Young Battle
The early season favorites are Roy Halladay
and Tim Lincecum. Both are very different, yet both produce positive results. Lincecum draws a lot of attention, while Halladay does his thing without much hoopla. Both have impressive win stats, a high number of strikeouts, and incredibly low ERA's so far this season. One or the other has won the Cy Young Award each of the past three seasons. Stay tuned to see if another pitching star emerges and swipes the coveted award, but don't count on it.
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