Sunday, July 17, 2011

Five Dumbest Horror Movies of All Time

I suppose there are plenty of movies in the history of horror that are more dumb than these five, however, there is only so many that I can cover in the space provided here. These five movies are some of the worst of the worst. If you have watched them, I'm sorry. If you have not, you may not want to after reading this. If nothing else, at least you will know what you are getting yourself into.


Halloween III - Season Of The WitchHalloween III: Season of the Witch
You will see this movie show up on almost every dumb horror movie list. Why? Because Halloween III removes Michael Myers from the movie completely! Oh, there is one scene where Michael is pictured on a television that is playing in the background at a bar, but other than that, no Michael.

I wish I could tell you what the purpose of this was, especially after having two horror blockbusters in the form of Halloween, and Halloween II. To make matters worse, the movie is not even scary. Not even a little bit.



Sleepaway CampSleepaway Camp
When Angela Baker is forced to go to camp with her cousin, bad things start to happen. Her behavior is so erratic that it is more weird than scary. Even at the very end, when Angela shocks your by showing you her penis, that's right, I said penis, you still do not understand what her/his major malfunction was. Sleepaway Camp is one movie of this horror movies list that does have somewhat of a cult following. However, I am not a card carrying member of this cult.



The Blair Witch ProjectBlair Witch
I admit it, I fell for all of the Blair Witch hype, and even spent time online after watching this movie trying to find information that would convince my friends and family that what we had seen was real. Can you say, sucker? Only after learning that this was a work of fiction, was I able to see this for what it was. Bad acting, or should I say, overacting, is on display throughout this film. Actually, it is a shame, because if it had been well made, it would have been toward the top of any horror movies list.



Slumber Party MassacreThe Slumber Party Massacre
This movie is particularly frustrating because it is one that makes you scream commands at the television. "Don't go in there! Are you freaking nuts, run! Turn around already!" are just a few of the words of wisdom I tried to offer these young ladies while I watched them meet their maker one by one. There are few things as frustrating as watching people die without putting up a good fight, and Slumber Party Massacre forces you to watch this happen over and over again.



Amityville, Vol. 4: The Evil EscapesAmityville 4: The Evil Escapes
The fact that Patty Duke is in this sequel makes it hard to watch. Not that Patty Duke is not an excellent actress, she just does not fit into a horror movie very well. By the time Amityville 4 was released in 1989, the topic had been beaten to death, and it becomes painfully apparent that there were no new angles to take, and nothing of value to add to this film release. The Amityville name alone prompted people to watch, but it could not prevent them from being disappointed.



Honorable awful horror movies list mention goes to all of the Leprechaun sequels, all of the Children of the Corn sequels, as well as all of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequels. Few horror movie sequels, with the exception of Halloween and Friday the 13th, are able to live up to how good the original movie was. However, they do some power. That being the ability to cause horror movie fans to waste a lot of time.

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