It was sitting there with no owner in sight. I immediately started having mental images of hopping on and taking it for a spin...catching a wheel when I gunned it...wind in my hair...expending no energy other than to throttle or brake...hot chicks fighting over who got to ride in my lap...when I was slapped back into reality by a big sticker on the back fender. It read: Golden Avenger.
Now Golden it was not. But Avenger?
By definition, avenger means: 1. To inflict a punishment or penalty in return for; revenge: 2. To take vengeance on behalf of.
What marketing genius decided to call this master of mobility an Avenger, and why???
I have one guess:
The owner of the Golden Avenger is furious at the world for whatever has caused he/she to no longer be able to walk. He or she has now become an avenger for the cause. With the help of the trusty Golden Avenger, he or she can now ride about running over feet, backing into stomachs, ramming into knee caps, and getting the best parking spaces 100% of the time.
So where was the owner of this piece of punishment giving steel beauty? If he or she could WALK then why the hell have a Golden Avenger in the first place? I hung around as long as I could trying to catch a glimpse, but never did.
Until I see otherwise, I'm just going to imagine the rider of the Golden Avenger looks identical to this:
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