I am the proud owner of three female cats. I have given them excellent names: Kitten, Kit Kat, and New Kitty. These three cats have bonded with me, despite their names, and have taught me how to read kitty minds. I will now share what I have learned with you, in hopes of you being able to better understand your cats.
The Evil Eye
I have it on good authority that the evil eye is indeed meant to be evil. No, your cat is not getting tired, being exposed to bright light, or about to sneeze, when you see the evil eye come into play. The evil eye in the cat world means the same thing it does in the human world: you are making me mad! Once you see the evil eye, it is best to back off. Cats will not forgive you until they are hungry, so you will just have to wait it out.
I Am Not A Baby
You might think it is extremely cute when you hold your cat like a baby. However, Kitten told me that cats hate this. Upside down is not their natural state, and it leaves them feeling exposed. Holding a cat like a baby increases the chance that you will receive the evil eye once you put the cat down. Oh, and Kitten said that you also run the risk of being bitten or scratched if this happens too many times.
Can You Breathe?
When a cat wants to sleep on your face, this can mean one of two things. Kit Kat, the sweetest of the three, tells me that this means that they are trying to block out light sources, so that you will get a good nights rest. Kitten, the meanest of the three, tells me that when she does this when I have made her angry, and it is her way of trying to suffocate me. You will have to take the personality of your cat into consideration when trying to decipher how this move applies to you.
We Do Not Share
You know that feeling you get when someone takes a few of your tots without asking? You may not react visually, but inside you are thinking, "Back off my tots, moron!" Cats feel the same way, and prefer to be fed separately. This especially applies when you bring out the canned food. Canned food is the equivalent of "kitty pate" in the cat world, and they do not want to share it with any other felines.
That's Not Funny
Cats do have a sense of humor, albeit a strange one. A few of the things they do not find funny include: sneaking up from behind and scaring them, allowing your baby to become a tail pulling toddler, and bringing home a puppy. However, they do get a chuckle from seeing you fall, any bad haircuts you get, and watching you attempt to dance. New Kitty says the these funny things never get old, and will always be good for a laugh.
Now that I am blessed with the ability to read kitty minds, I have learned so much about cats. I cannot tell you that I like everything I have learned. Sleeping with one eye open is not as easy as it sounds. However, by telling me their deep, dark secrets, I now have enough information to blackmail these three cats into doing basically anything I tell them to. As soon as they learn how to do dishes, clean the toilet, and wash clothes, I am certain that this will work to my advantage.
The Evil Eye I have it on good authority that the evil eye is indeed meant to be evil. No, your cat is not getting tired, being exposed to bright light, or about to sneeze, when you see the evil eye come into play. The evil eye in the cat world means the same thing it does in the human world: you are making me mad! Once you see the evil eye, it is best to back off. Cats will not forgive you until they are hungry, so you will just have to wait it out.
I Am Not A Baby
You might think it is extremely cute when you hold your cat like a baby. However, Kitten told me that cats hate this. Upside down is not their natural state, and it leaves them feeling exposed. Holding a cat like a baby increases the chance that you will receive the evil eye once you put the cat down. Oh, and Kitten said that you also run the risk of being bitten or scratched if this happens too many times.
Can You Breathe?
When a cat wants to sleep on your face, this can mean one of two things. Kit Kat, the sweetest of the three, tells me that this means that they are trying to block out light sources, so that you will get a good nights rest. Kitten, the meanest of the three, tells me that when she does this when I have made her angry, and it is her way of trying to suffocate me. You will have to take the personality of your cat into consideration when trying to decipher how this move applies to you.
We Do Not Share
You know that feeling you get when someone takes a few of your tots without asking? You may not react visually, but inside you are thinking, "Back off my tots, moron!" Cats feel the same way, and prefer to be fed separately. This especially applies when you bring out the canned food. Canned food is the equivalent of "kitty pate" in the cat world, and they do not want to share it with any other felines.
That's Not Funny
Cats do have a sense of humor, albeit a strange one. A few of the things they do not find funny include: sneaking up from behind and scaring them, allowing your baby to become a tail pulling toddler, and bringing home a puppy. However, they do get a chuckle from seeing you fall, any bad haircuts you get, and watching you attempt to dance. New Kitty says the these funny things never get old, and will always be good for a laugh.
Now that I am blessed with the ability to read kitty minds, I have learned so much about cats. I cannot tell you that I like everything I have learned. Sleeping with one eye open is not as easy as it sounds. However, by telling me their deep, dark secrets, I now have enough information to blackmail these three cats into doing basically anything I tell them to. As soon as they learn how to do dishes, clean the toilet, and wash clothes, I am certain that this will work to my advantage.
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