It is no secret that we Southerners love our football. Since few of us can afford to go to every single game, we have adopted a home version of tailgating. With transplants from all over arriving in the South daily, it is important that they learn how to properly prepare should they decide to host a Saturday football get together. The following are some of the best ways to tailgate at home in the South.
Have Lots of Beer On Hand
Yes, I know that people drink beer before football games all across the nation. However, you likely have never seen a Southerner down a six pack of Bud Light in less than ten minutes, and I am talking about the
women here.
Do not waste your money on imported beers. It is not that Southerners do not like imports, but that unless you have deep pockets, football Saturday beer is going to cost you a lot of money.
Feel free to tell your guests that the B.Y.O.B. policy is in place if you wish. We Southerners are used to that, and usually show up with beer anyway because we are afraid you might run out.
Pre-Game Entertainment
Having a football to throw around in the yard is considered mandatory. After that, feel free to get creative, but not too creative. Pre-game scrapbooking is not acceptable. Think more along the lines of playing Truth or Dare. Do not be alarmed if someone gets injured during the game, as we play it quite differently in the South. Another good idea is drinking games. Tread lightly here, otherwise you might miss seeing the game, and see only the toilet instead.
Home Tailgating Food
The following are must have food items: a cake or big cookie with the team logo on it, fried chicken fingers, tortilla chips with
Velveeta and Rotel cheese dip, and
mini pigs in a blanket. If it is cold, you must serve chili
with corn chips and shredded cheddar.
After these things, the choices are up to you. But keep in mind that we Southerners do not want to eat anything frou-frou on game day. Save that expensive caviar for a day when people are sober, and will appreciate it more.
If you have beer, food, and entertainment planned out correctly, your home tailgating party will go off without a hitch. I should offer one final piece of advice though, and that would be to never invite a fan of the opposing team to your home tailgate event. Southerners do believe that we are all created equal, but this belief disappears for four hours each Saturday in the Fall. Plan accordingly, people.
